It comes to my attention more and more these days that people like to rope me in with the lower rungs of the KI fandom. Encouraged by fans who shall remain nameless (although they chose a horrible pseudonym from the Urban Dictionary for themselves!), many believe that I "hate" season 5 simply because there is no Renee in it. This could not be farther from the truth. I watch Season 5 about as much as I do other seasons, and I have several favorite songs from the episodes. In fact, based on how season 5 progressed, I am actually happy that Renee had no part in it.
These are the actual reasons that I would rank Season 5 as one of the lesser seasons of the show and not include it among my favorites:
Ryan. We all know how Ryan started
out as a non-traditional character, a way to break stereotypes. Here's this kid with
spiky hair who dresses like a punk - but wait, he's actually a sensitive guy who likes to
read excessively! Ryan was always the mature one of the group, occasionally even
more so than Gloria. He was often known to quote encyclopedias and give out
information whether it was requested or not. What made it work was the fact that
Ryan was so likeable. He knew how to translate adult concepts into things that his
friends would understand (most of the time).
This all changed when someone apparently realized that Ryan was
cute. Hot, even. Season 5's Ryan seemed to devolve from an honors student to
the Big Man on Campus. His scenes now mostly consisted of sports, Silly String wars,
clowning around, and catchphrases. The one redeeming episode, You
Don't Say (episode 83), ended up feeling
forced. Somehow, Ryan had conveyed more intelligence in a denim jacket than he did
in suspenders and a tie. Also, the spikes disappeared. Ryan's whole appearance
became that of conformity.
What seemed even stranger to me was that Ryan's role in the band
changed dramatically. From the beginning, Ryan's character was pictured with one of
two things: a book or a guitar. Jokes about Ryan's guitar were frequent. There
were quite a few cool guitar solos and stunts pulled off as well. Ryan himself even
points out to the automated TV computer S.A.M. (67-4-87) that he is the band's lead
guitarist.
Yet, suddenly in Season 5, a band member - Brian - is the lead
guitarist. The episode (86-5-88) has the girls playing guitars together and
everyone fretting over replacing Brian while on vacation. What? How did Ryan
start out as this dynamo and then get bumped to the back burner? Wouldn't he have
gotten better with time? Brian was present during Season 4 - why
was he not lead guitarist then? Both he and Dee, the other male dancer, are
occasionally seen playing guitars. And if it's just for a short while, couldn't
Ryan fill in? Surely he's better at it than the girls, seeing as how HE'S BEEN PLAYING
GUITAR FOR THREE SEASONS.
I had liked Ryan when he arrived. He was a great break from
the traditional. Children's shows quite often have textbook characters, but Ryan was
a completely different story. While his other focus episode, When the
Clock Strikes Twelve (87-5-88), did showcase his acting talent, it fully
transformed Ryan into the image we first saw in the opening credits - Ryan appearing to
read a thick book, only to reveal that he has a teen magazine hidden inside it. 1988
Ryan, brought to you by this month's issue of Tiger Beat. Is that even stocked in
the library?
"Racy" In the realm of fanfiction, popular
relationships between characters are abbreviated as 'ships, and usually given a cute
nickname that attempts to compound the characters names. As you might have guessed,
"Racy" is the 'shipper name that I have grudgingly given to the relationship
between Ryan and Stacy. Now, I am not a 'shipper by any means, I don't feel that it
has a place in the KI fandom whatsoever, but I know that many people are and this is the
most popular (in fact, it may be the only) 'ship. It began to show
up as early as Season 2, but it was Season 5 that set it into high gear.
Ryan and Stacy always did appear to have a solid relationship as
friends. I suppose he took pity on her for never quite understanding what was going
on at times (per the "cutesy kid" and "dumb blonde" sitcom rules - it
wasn't her fault). Perhaps it's because he feels for the underdog that he defends
Stacy and volunteers to stay with her instead of going to the rich new kid's party
(35-2-85). They do have a lot of duets together, even inventing their trademark
double slide move (which surfaces in "Call Me" and reappears in Season 4's
"Let's Go"). Ryan also attempts to share a banana split with Stacy
(77-4-87). These things alone, however, don't amount to much.
What reminded people of these scenes in later years was the
revelation that the two child stars may have actually been an item off
the set. Stacy has admitted (although the story keeps changing), that the two shared
a kiss before Ryan left the show. Ugh. While this may be true, and
ignoring the fact that he is 4 years older than her, reality and the show are two
different things. My point is this - why does art have to imitate
life?
Was it the Cute Lead Syndrome? Those of you who used to
watch Power Rangers (my sister was one) remember how, because Tommy and Kimberly were the
Lead Cute Guy and Lead Cute Girl, they suddenly fell in love and treated the audience to a
bunch of sappy fan service scenes with both of them heavily featured. On KI, this
began happening in Season 5.
Ryan and Stacy are the longest surviving cast members other
than Riley by this point. They are also the most attractive. This would lead
one to assume that kids are watching the show mostly for them. In When
the Clock Strikes Twelve, The Hombre and Miss Kitty have a poignant
departure scene whose sap is only bested by the Casablanca parody that comes in '89.
During the performance of "Never Gonna Give You Up" (#1, 89-5-88), Ryan brings
Stacy up to the middle stage with him. The fact that the song is about this undying
love makes this stand out, as they are holding hands the entire time.
This is why I am glad Renee wasn't present for this, and I think
it was crafty of them. You see, Stacy has been the youngest kid in the band for a
long time. The other members tend to be protective of her. Ryan is still
relatively new. If the two began dating, and then broke up, whose side do you
suppose the rest of the band would have been on? That's right - Stacy's.
Furthermore, any guy who would date Renee's little sister would have to put up with her,
and she would be none too happy if Ryan made Stacy cry. Nor would The Kid, Stacy's
best friend. Having a budding relationship develop once Renee and Kid were out of
the picture was pretty sneaky.
But the most important thing about not having a relationship was
covered succinctly by Gloria in the very first episode - you don't mix singing and dating.
If the couple broke up, the band would break up. This actually happens in
real life more than you realize. This is why I think 'ships on KI are a bad idea.
It's a children's show. It's not a soap opera.
Rap. Rapping was actually not new to KI. They did very
well with a cover of "Cool it Now" (#2, 17-1-84). However, I wouldn't say
it was their strong suit. It seemed to me that someone was constantly trying to keep
the show "with the times", and decided that they needed more rap music, perhaps
in an effort to seem less racially-biased, I don't know. What it failed to do was feel
natural.
Take "Who Wrote The Song", for example - just be sure to
duck the constant flapping of arms. The whole number represented a 5-yr-old's
impression of a RUN-DMC video. Now, if they had covered a popular song at the time,
that might have gone over better. Instead, the song was written for the
episode. Simple rhymes and beatboxing do not a rap song make - at least, not a
decent one. I know that it was meant to be comical. It certainly was.
There is even a point during the song where Richie shrugs as if to say, "Sorry, but
it's in the script!"
I am not pooh-poohing the general inclusion of rap into the
show. I just think that it could have waited until at least the next season.
Since this is becoming a novel, I will just add a few more quick things:
- Riley? Remember him? It was his last season and I felt that he was underused. Rumor has it that Moosie was starting to take a backstage role in the show, and so he was not on camera as much. Still, it felt odd without him.
- Six kids. What made it work in '87 was the fact that the oldest four worked so well with one another. Kenny and Devyn were each good characters, but the dynamic was lost.
- Continuity. I covered this briefly in The Gweeby Awards. Do the kids never talk to one another about what happened in previous seasons? Why is Connie inventing a time machine such a big laugh when Riley managed to make one?
I would be lying if I said I did not miss Renee greatly.
That being said, none of the new aspects of this season would have fit with Renee's
character, and I know that I would have resented it had she stayed. I had a bit of a
grudge that first year, but on repeated viewings, I was able to find the things that I
loved about the show all along - good, strong characters, great music, songs that touched
your heart. I love Stacy, Ryan, and Riley as well, and there was still plenty about
the show that was home to me.
In short, no, I do not hate Season 5. I am disappointed in it.
I love this show and I feel that it could have been so much better. Even with
its flaws, it is still Kids Incorporated.